Press Releases

• Pat takes over the Relate helm
• Phone counselling plan to beat isolation barrier
• Phone counselling plan to beat isolation barrier
• 'Come and talk’ offer to same-sex couples
• Even World Cup widows can win, says Relate
• Relate Christmas Shopping survey
• Relate targets sex therapy backlog
• ‘One-off’ sessions will home in on problems
• Newark premises switch gives Relate a boost

Pat takes over the Relate helm

Professor Pat Higham, who has extensive practical social work experience and a reputation for strategic planning, has become chair of the relationships organisation, Relate Nottinghamshire.

She moved to the area in 1994 as Head of Social Work at Nottingham Trent University, going on to become Professor of Social Work and Social Care; and Associate Dean for academic planning and quality in Economics and Social Services, in which role she heard appeals from students on academic decisions. She was previously Head of the Department of Health and Human Services, which included counselling training at the university.

She is a non-executive board member of the new Nottinghamshire Teaching Primary Health Care Trust.

Relate Nottinghamshire currently has more than 30 counsellors handling about 2,000 confidential cases a year, helping couples, families and individuals with all kinds of relationship or sexual problems.

Of her appointment, Pat says: “I am delighted to join what is a highly professional and committed team.

“I am interested in ideas and developing quality – promoting work that helps people with their relationships. That is why I became a social worker and then went into higher education. I think you have to give something back.”

American by birth – and graduate of one of America’s most famous colleges, Wellesley College in Massachusetts – Pat met her husband Jack, formerly a residentiary Canon of Peterborough Cathedral, whilst he was a curate and in the United States on a Fulbright Scholarship.

After settling in the UK, Pat was a social worker in Sheffield, Milton Keynes and Northamptonshire, subsequently becoming Head of Social Work at Anglia Ruskin University in Cambridgeshire and Essex, before taking up her university post in Nottingham.

She was a national board founder member of Skills for Care England, which engages with social care employers on workforce planning, and is now an independent consultant for the University of Northampton and with Skills for Care across the Midlands, as well as external examiner at a number of universities.

Pat holds a doctorate from the Cranfield University School of Management and has written both a textbook for social work degree students and a book about the social support needs of people with head injury.

Phone counselling plan to beat isolation barrier

A new service aimed at helping people isolated in their own homes to get relationships counselling by phone is being launched by Relate Nottinghamshire.

The new venture by the counselling organisation is part of a broader drive to open up the Relate Nottinghamshire service to people within the community who are unable to attend Relate premises for any reason, or who may be anxious or worried about taking the first step.

Members of a local Relate team already experienced in face-to-face counselling have been receiving specialist training in telephone techniques, to equip them for the new service.

“For people who are housebound through ill-health or disability, or who have a caring responsibility for others, we believe counselling by phone could be a lifeline,” said Relate Nottinghamshire director Bridget Gilliatt.

“And we know it’s not always easy for people in rural communities without their own transport to attend counselling sessions in our Nottingham, Mansfield or Newark offices.”

Relate Nottinghamshire believes the phone service could help other vulnerable people to defeat their own private demons.

“It’s not uncommon for emotional stress to turn the act of leaving the house into an ordeal,” said Bridget.

“Other potential clients are concerned about anonymity – they dread the possibility of being spotted entering Relate’s doors – and where there is a domestic violence issue, some are afraid of the consequences if their partners find out they have contacted us.

“The phone offers considerable flexibility, and some clients may find that this initial contact with a counsellor eventually encourages them to want to talk face-to-face.”

Phone counselling -- usually involving sessions of between 50 minutes and an hour -- is being operated through an appointments system. Relate is also offering couple counselling through conference calls for clients with two telephone extensions.

Bridget added: “This service is a further step towards overcoming the stigma that still lingers over getting professional help with relationship problems, or the idea in some sections of society that we are not relevant to their need.”

The phone counselling appointments service can be contacted on 0115-9507836.

Phone counselling plan to beat isolation barrier

A new service aimed at helping people isolated in their own homes to get relationships counselling by phone is being launched by Relate Nottinghamshire.

The new venture by the counselling organisation is part of a broader drive to open up the Relate Nottinghamshire service to people within the community who are unable to attend Relate premises for any reason, or who may be anxious or worried about taking the first step.

Members of a local Relate team already experienced in face-to-face counselling have been receiving specialist training in telephone techniques, to equip them for the new service.

“For people who are housebound through ill-health or disability, or who have a caring responsibility for others, we believe counselling by phone could be a lifeline,” said Relate Nottinghamshire director Bridget Gilliatt.

“And we know it’s not always easy for people in rural communities without their own transport to attend counselling sessions in our Nottingham, Mansfield or Newark offices.”

Relate Nottinghamshire believes the phone service could help other vulnerable people to defeat their own private demons.

“It’s not uncommon for emotional stress to turn the act of leaving the house into an ordeal,” said Bridget.

“Other potential clients are concerned about anonymity – they dread the possibility of being spotted entering Relate’s doors – and where there is a domestic violence issue, some are afraid of the consequences if their partners find out they have contacted us.

“The phone offers considerable flexibility, and some clients may find that this initial contact with a counsellor eventually encourages them to want to talk face-to-face.”

Phone counselling -- usually involving sessions of between 50 minutes and an hour -- is being operated through an appointments system. Relate is also offering couple counselling through conference calls for clients with two telephone extensions.

Bridget added: “This service is a further step towards overcoming the stigma that still lingers over getting professional help with relationship problems, or the idea in some sections of society that we are not relevant to their need.”

The phone counselling appointments service can be contacted on 0115-9507836.

'Come and talk’ offer to same-sex couples

An awareness campaign is being launched by the counselling organisation, Relate Nottinghamshire, to highlight the help available to couples in same-sex relationships, in the wake of the new laws on gay ‘marriages.’

Relate has been exploring with help agencies and members of the local gay community how the new the new civil partnership legislation has changed the legal and social landscape.

Now it is distributing thousands of leaflets through libraries, voluntary organisations and other outlets, outlining its counselling service on same-sex relationship issues.

“Our doors have always been open to the gay community and over the years we have had a steady stream of clients,” explained Relate Nottinghamshire director Bridget Gilliatt.

“But the new law is also a challenge to us. We have moved up a gear in assessing its longer-term impact on relationships, away from the headlines that ‘celebrity’ civil partnerships have attracted so far.

“Same-sex couples not only face many of the same pressures as heterosexual relationships, but often have additional strains and pressures to deal with.

“There has been a major shift in public attitudes in recent years, but many gay people still feel their relationships are regarded by society as less valid than those between heterosexual couples.

“For a same-sex couple considering civil partnership, a single confidential session with a trained counsellor can help them to talk frankly about the nature of their relationship and to map out their own future for themselves.

“There is often a misconception that counsellors try to impose their own world view. In fact, the skill lies in asking the right questions, listening to the answers and guiding people through the process.”

The Government predicts that up to 22,000 couples across the country will enter civil partnerships within five years.

“It is not our role to push couples towards civil partnership, but it is now inevitably going to be on their agenda because it offers a legal status embodying the rights, privileges and responsibilities enjoyed by heterosexual couples when they marry,” said Bridget.

“However, because it is breaking new ground, same-sex couples find themselves with few precedents to follow. They may face difficulties with their respective families, and there may be hostility towards a same-sex partner.

Even World Cup widows can win, says Relate

Soccer widows bracing themselves for the World Cup are being offered an escape strategy by the relationships organisation, Relate Nottinghamshire, which says: “This advice can make everyone a winner.”

With the world’s top event already receiving extensive media coverage and about to dominate television schedules for more than five weeks, Relate Nottinghamshire director Bridget Gilliatt says: “Although there are plenty of female fans, the fact is that many women feel undervalued and excluded when soccer television fever grips the nations.

“This is particularly the case if they find themselves with more than their fair share of day-to-day responsibilities. These tensions fuel frustrations and anger which many of their partners just fail to recognise.

“The positive solution for soccer widows is to accept that some family members are going to be totally absorbed by this sporting marathon, and to turn it into an opportunity to spend time with other relatives or friends who’ve been neglected recently.

“Many of these are going to be in the same boat during the World Cup – they’ll be even more pleased to hear from us if it gives them an excuse to get out of the house.

“With a bit of forward planning, we can turn the World Cup into a refreshing break from routine for relatives and friends who are not football fans.”

Emphasising the wisdom of pre-empting potential flashpoints, Bridget says: “Big sporting events are unlikely to be the sole cause of relationship breakdown, but arguments over time spent watching sport on TV can contribute to relationship difficulties – bringing to a head deeper and longer-standing problems.

“Being able to communicate freely with each other is a strength that helps underpin the lives of many couples and partners.

“For them, preparation for the World Cup need not be anything too dramatic. They can hold their own ‘team talk’ beforehand – perhaps agreeing on one or two of the less important matches that can be missed, to create a time ‘window’ they can spend together.

“Just an acknowledgement that one person’s dedication to long-running TV sporting marathons can come at a cost to the other partner, will often do the trick,” Bridget added.

Relate Christmas Shopping survey

Christmas shoppers? We’re the best, says Relate

Local people are among the best in the country at coping with the stress of Christmas shopping, according to the relationships organisation, Relate Nottinghamshire.

Their laid-back approach to shopping with loved ones has earned the area top marks in a survey which suggests the East and West Midlands have the least argument-prone couples in the whole of the UK.

Around 59 per cent locally took the practical view that Christmas shopping with a partner was a bit stressful, but got the job done. And 27 per cent actually enjoyed it because it put them in the festive mood. Only 13 per cent found it a total nightmare.

When it came to the alternatives, around 40 per cent liked to shop alone, but 36 per cent preferred being accompanied by a partner or spouse rather than a friend (14 per cent) or other family member (nine per cent).

However, there’s still quite a bit of arguing going on. Just under half of local couples admitted to a few cross words around the counters. But we are still more placid than customers in the West End, where 56 per cent are arguing. And up in the North West, the figure is 61 per cent.

The Christmas relationships hangover often means a busy New Year for Relate Nottinghamshire counsellors, because the festive season can be a crunch point for problems that have been festering for months.

“We think the survey gives a useful snapshot and the local couples who took part deserve a pat on the back for taking a realistic and balanced view of the perils of Christmas shopping,” commented Relate Nottinghamshire director Bridget Gilliatt.

“People have different shopping styles, so it makes sense to agree tactics with your partner, and the shopping time available, before you set out. A golden rule is to fix a budget and stick to it.

“It’s often a good idea not to take young children with you, if you have the luxury of someone to leave them with. Making the visit to Santa a separate and special occasions means you can all enjoy it.

“And try and be polite and courteous to the shop assistants – at Christmas we’re all in the same boat.”

Relate targets sex therapy backlog

Doctors throughout the county are being contacted by the relationships organisation, Relate Nottinghamshire, in an attempt to reduce the backlog of patients awaiting therapy treatment for sexual problems.

The Sexual Dysfunction Clinic at Nottingham City Hospital is having to limit referrals by GPs in order to meet Government waiting list targets.

To help ease the burden, Relate Nottinghamshire is now asking doctors to consider sending patients for assessments and possible treatment by its own team of six psychosexual therapists.

“Relate nationally produces more sex therapists than any other training organisation in the UK and is the country’s biggest provider of sex therapy,” explained Relate Nottinghamshire director Bridget Gilliatt.

“However, for most people concerned with problems with their sexual functioning the first port of call is their GP.

“At a time of pressure on the NHS locally, it makes sense for us to remind local doctors that we have therapists, trained to the highest standards, available to provide private and confidential psychotherapy treatment at our premises in Mansfield and Newark as well as in the city.

“Where medical treatment is also required, our therapists work closely with the patient’s GP. The Relate service is available to both individuals and couples who are experiencing difficulties in their sexual relationships.”

Relate Nottinghamshire’s team currently gives an estimated 500 hours of counselling a year to couples from across the county.

Each team member is an experienced couple counsellor with a further qualification in sex therapy, which invoved a further two years of training. The work is rigorously supervised, matching standards set by the British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy (BASRT), which is the only established association in this field.

One member of the sexual therapy team, Elaine Ackroyd, who also trains Relate counsellors, commented: “Nottingham has a particularly strong tradition in this field. Relate locally was at the forefront in the development of the sex therapy service in the UK, and was one of the first centres to provide treatment.

“The paradox is that a lot of people who could benefit from our service are unaware of it.”

‘One-off’ sessions will home in on problems

Local counsellors are pioneering a new service to help people nip problems in the bud before they become serious enough to threaten an entire relationship.

The imminent launch of the innovative, one-off counselling sessions by Relate Nottinghamshire is being monitored by the organisation’s counterparts in other parts of the country.

“Our usual method is to invite clients to come for a confidential assessment interview, so that we can get a picture of their relationship before deciding whether a series of counselling sessions is going to be the best way forward, or whether another form of help is more appropriate,” explained Relate Nottinghamshire director Bridget Gilliatt.

“But these hour-long, stand-alone sessions will have a different focus because from the outset our counsellors will be concentrating on a specific problem. This is a new approach for us.

“A classic example in which one-off counselling might be effective could be in helping ex-partners who have split to continue as good parents; or in assisting new couples inheriting step-family relationships to explore and plan for potential difficulties.

“These sessions will be very flexible, and could also perhaps help people under pressure because of family health problems, different phases of individual or family life, or work-related issues such as redundancy or achieving work/life balance.”

GPs, lawyers and other professionals working with families are being alerted to the launch of the one-off sessions, which will be held by Relate in Mansfield, Newark, Worksop and Retford, as well as in the city.

“Research suggests people can often wait as long as seven years before plucking up the courage to get professional help and this just might encourage some of them to take that important first step more quickly, before a problem becomes too entrenched,” said Bridget.

“As is always the case at Relate, we will not be telling people what to do, but helping them to find their own way forward.”

Newark premises switch gives Relate a boost

The relationships organisation, Relate, is planning to boost its counselling service in Newark, after moving from the Citizens’ Advice Bureau to the nearby Northgate Business Centre in Northgate.

“The change gives us more room and the opportunity to expand the service by introducing counselling on Tuesdays as well as offering additional hours on a Thursday,” said Relate Nottinghamshire director Bridget Gilliatt.

“We are looking to increase substantially our current total of 400 Newark counselling sessions a year and we already have the trained experts in place for us to move up a gear.”

Relate has offered counselling in Nottinghamshire for nearly sixty years, and has a long established reputation for counselling couples and individuals experiencing problems in their relationships. Its team of experienced counsellors in Newark team also includes a sex therapist and a family counsellor.

“We are very much aware that big changes in a family bring stress and that problems being experienced by one family member can also affect their relationship with parents, siblings or children” added Bridget.

“Family counselling can involve all members of a family group, but it is common for one person to approach us initially to talk about the problem and discuss how family counselling could help. One of the advantages of our service is that people can contact us for help directly, before problems have become so severe that schools or other agencies have become involved.”

“The Northgate centre offers just the right environment for confidential counselling and other caring organisations are already active there.

It is already home to the Newark and Nottinghamshire Child Bereavement and Loss Centre (“Sue’s Place”), Counselling in Newark, the NHS Newark Child and Adolescent Mental Health team and a psychotherapist.

Centre director Andrew James commented: “We am delighted to have Relate Nottinghamshire on board. The centre has a non-threatening air which is reassuring to the people who need the sort of personal help that is available here.”